Reviewed Date: March 22nd, 2022
Let me say it at first: I have mixed opinions on this book. As a person who has read a few books on human nature, relationships, and love, much of the content of this book is obvious to me. I didn’t learn anything profoundly new.
There are certain ideas presented in the book that are pretty outdated, like all problems are interpersonal relationship problems. I strongly disagree with that; there are problems outside of relationships. I felt Alder (on whose work this book is based) had made a lot of generalizations, viewing every human as the same.
Alder said we work just for surviving in this world. I think that’s a pretty banal thing to say. Though it appears as we work for our survival, there could be meaning and value in what we do, contributing something to society. You can’t say, ‘Da Vinci did the Mona Lisa painting for money.’
Also, Alder talks about how praising children gives rise to competition, and they view other people as their enemies. I argue that unless there is competitiveness in this world, we wouldn’t see innovations and creations. I believe competitiveness is what has made human societies thrive.
But if you are into counseling, you may like this book. There are ideas presented in the books That Bad Person, Poor Me, and What Should I Do Now? and 5 stages of problem behavior. But psychology has come a long way since his theories and assumptions. I don’t think they hold water.
In the beginning of the book, the authors mentioned Alfred Adler is a forgotten giant. Now I see why.
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