Review 1-Reviewed Date: January 24th, 2023
It happens rarely. Very rarely does the book’s content directly speak to you, and you don’t know whether to hide somewhere or continue reading even if it makes you feel naked. I am happy that I am reading this book at the right point in my life. I can’t tell you the information that resonated with me because I am afraid of my potential mate reading this post.
Although we fail to recognize the patterns in our relationships, there is one thing that constantly influences us: our attachment system. Our style of attachment reveals much about our relationships and how we will act in the future. In other words, our attachment style, whether anxious, secure, or avoidant, says if we are going to have a healthy relationship or an unhealthy one.
So many books sell crap that we should behave in a way to attract partners. We do it by compromising our needs and expectations from a relationship. Even if we attract people, how long are we going to keep the facade and suppress our needs?
Attached is an interesting and useful read. It covers the attachment style and activating systems that support the former. I wish I had read the book earlier; I could have avoided so much distress and heartache. I highly recommend the book. It will surely eliminate the drama in your relationship and make you aware of your attachment style and push you to embrace it completely.
Review 2—Reviewed Date: February 2nd, 2023
Many of us harbor a fantasy that there will come a right person who will make our lives great just by his/her presence. Although there is nothing wrong in desiring a person, the problem arises when we miss out on good people by believing that they don’t fit into our ‘ideal’ person. That’s why most people end up in toxic relationships.
In that process, attachments also play a role. People with the avoidant attachment style say that they are looking for the right kind of person while curbing the good individuals to the side. Avoidants have a hard time forming relationships. They desire to be independent and self-reliant; deep down they crave intimacy and bonds like all of us.
The information in the book helps avoidants to find partners, but the authors have used condescending tones whenever they talked about avoidants. I think the authors got hurt by avoidants in real life. I thought it would have been good if they approached with an empathizing tone.
Also, it would have been helpful if the authors had gone in-depth about explaining how people form attachments in the first place. The book covers the groundwork of attachment styles. This book is a good start. I recommend this book if you are interested in knowing about your attachment style.
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